The Declaration of Loonypendence
The unanimous declaration of the members of the United States National Official Monster Raving Loony Party.
When in the course of insane events, it becomes necessary for one Loony People to assume among the Loonys of the Loonyverse, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Loonysy entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of Loonys requires that they should declare their causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-raising, that all Loonys are created equal, that they are endowed by their Founder with certain Loony Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Loonysy. That to secure these rights, Loonys are instituted among People, deriving their just powers from the consent of the Loonys. That whenever any Form of Loonysy becomes destructive of these ends, and too full of grey suits, it is the Right of the Loonys to alter or abolish it, and to introduce a bunch of Loonys, laying its foundation on such principles and disorganizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to provide them with peace, love, harmony, music, smiles, yo-yos, etc. to affect their sanity and happiness.
Prudence, indeed, will dictate that grey suits long established should not be changed for no reason unless they feel like it at the time; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that Loonysy is more disposed to boo and hiss, while things are not too bad, than to decide to scrap what clearly is not fun any more.
But when a long train of grey suits starts telling them not to have fun, it is their right, it is their insanity, to throw off such grey suits, and to provide new ones of yellows, blacks, purples, leopard prints, etc., certainly more colorful, and of better fabric.
We, therefore, the representatives of the United States National Official Monster Raving Loony Party, in general congress, disassembled, not very appealing to the supreme idiots of the world for rectitude of our intentions, do, in the name, and by the authority of the United States National Official Monster Raving Loony Party, solemnly decided to write down before we forgot.
That these U.S.N.O.M.R.L.P. (abbreviating to save a tree….after all, we are environmentally correct) are, and of right ought to be free (who would pay for this insanity anyway) and less dependent, that they are absolved from all allegiance to the principle of sanity and not having enough fun, and that all political ties with grey suits are declared to be green ones with spots on them;
And that as free and totally less dependent U.S.N.O.M.R.L.P., they have the full power to make a cup of tea (or coffee), eat a sandwich, write letters, send e-mails, spread Loonysy, peace, love, harmony, music and smiles; determine their own Loonysys and Commercys, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do.
And for the support of the Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of the Founding Loony, we mutually pledge to each other our Loonysy and Honor, and will also continue to “Love All Loonys Everywhere.”
The signers of the Declaration of Loonypendence represented the United States National Official Monster Raving Loony Party as follows:
Webmistress' Note: The names of the signers will be published shortly.
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